Dan Patterson

How many remember this classic line from the TV situation comedy series “Seinfeld:” “It is not a lie if you believe it”?

Well, what is a lie? According to Webster’s Dictionary, a body could lie in state and it would be lying in a horizontal position.

Perhaps a politician might lie in a lying position and tell a lie.

Gen. 3:2-4 records the very first lie in the history of the world. Satan, in the form of a serpent, told a nasty fib to Eve and she fell for it.

Now let me fast-forward from a long time ago until now.

The liberal media delights in pointing out the untruths told by President Donald Trump. Yes, he has told some lies. I feel confident that most politicians do. Does that make it right? No, it does not. However, both parties share the exact same character flaws.

Does the left have the right to question or criticize the right?

Trump, like many of today’s politicians, is guilty of hyperbolizing too many of his statements or answers. What, you ask, is hyperbolizing?

The HUD (Hico Unabridged Dictionary) defines hyperbole as words, claims or statements that exaggerate for effect and are not meant to be taken literally.

For a good example of a hyperbole, I shall use my old stove plant pal, Cotton Bynum.

Old Cotton, bless his heart, was never the sharpest knife in the kitchen cabinet. He thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company.

My liberal friends, both of them, mistake Trump’s “overkill of the hyperbole” as untrue or “unfactual.” He is daily bombarded by “SSL” — Sanctimonious Souls of the Left.

In John 8:7, Jesus said, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.”

Without a doubt, Trump deserves a little red bank gravel tossed at him for telling a few fibs.

Do the Democrats fib? Yes, about the same as the Republicans.

Do you remember a nice-looking man from Arkansas who said, “I have never had sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky?”

Lewinsky stated she had sexual encounters with President Bill Clinton on nine occasions.

In August of 1964, after the Gulf of Tonkin incident, President Lyndon Baines Johnson announced to the American people that the United States would seek no wider war. The rest is history.

The claim by Elizabeth Warren’s (otherwise known as “Princess 3 Swipes”) to be a lady of the Cherokee nation was a hoot.

Where should I begin with old Uncle Bernie Sanders? A nice opener might be, “When you are white, you don’t know what it is like to be poor.”

Another nice “whopper” is we spend twice as much per capita on health care as any other nation on earth. Apparently, good old Uncle Bern is not aware of Canada, Norway, Switzerland and Austria.

There is a virtual treasure trove of Uncle “Bernieisms.” However, due to the dreaded word “limitation,” this will be the final “ism.” Bernie says, “42% of Walmart’s associates are black.”

Liberace was one of Granny Salmon’s favorite TV performers. He passed away from AIDS.

When Granny Salmon learned the details of his demise, she said, “All that glitters is not gold.”


DAN PATTERSON, who’s retired from the Paris Parks and Recreation Department, grew up near the state line and now lives in Paris. He can be reached by email at jdanpat@yahoo.com.

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