I am secure enough in my maturity to confess I was, indeed, excited when I opened Page 2 of Thursday’s Post-Intelligencer, although “gleeful” would more aptly fit the season (“cock-a-hoop” seems too dated).
There, larger than life, my old nemeses, Dan Jackson and Tony Kendall, the Duo of Disillusion, one like a phoenix rising from long ago, the other like an albatross that I just can’t shake off. My surge of excitement sprang back, like that feeling of touching a battery to the tip of your tongue.
I thoroughly enjoy debate. There’s never been a good bill, law or regulation enacted without it. Finding this double-bubble of challenge on one page was too much, initially. I pondered if I should just take in one well of information at a time, and not read Kendall until Sunday afternoon, confident that Jackson was going to give me so much to ponder, feast, even relish for the weekend.
After all, for years, these two wells of scrutiny have thoroughly examined, inspected, surveyed, dissected, analyzed, studied, scanned, searched, gone over, checked, audited, gone over again, explored, probed, researched and sifted everything that came out of the Trump administration on a weekly basis in The P-I.
Surely they were about to give due diligence to the current mismanagement of public affairs. My eyes were racing across Jackson’s column, barely catching every other word, looking for him to begin his thoughts of the day.
Jussie Smollet, I thought! Jackson is always ranting about social ills, the ignorance and intolerance of the masses that surround him in this Hee Haw Hades that the rest of us call home. Yes, he would share his dismay for this unspeakable hoax designed to only further alienate us as Americans.
And the historical murder rates in more than a dozen U.S. cities, the loss of innocent life, black-on-black crime — he would surely cover those issues. And being a businessman, he would cry aloud concerning the “smash and grab” crime sprees that are destroying businesses, causing many to close and move to more affluent neighborhoods, not to mention the utter stupidity of “no cash bail” policies.
My eyes couldn’t linger there. I moved to the bottom of the page where Kendall had a third of the space in which to work. He would most likely, I thought, point out the hypocrisy of the Biden administration’s travel ban from South America, recalling the criticism hurled at President Donald Trump for similar decisions.
And he touts his common sense, so he will spend lots of time on the sheer half-wittedness and recklessness of shutting down a pipe line here while promoting one in Russia, I surmised. But how much space would be left to examine the issue of thousands of unvaccinated illegals coming across the southern border, bringing unknown elements of crime, drugs and destruction?
Both Kendall and Jackson are sticklers for accuracy, so both, I assumed, would point out that 200,000 “new jobs” were not added last quarter; these were simply folks returning to the jobs they had lost because of Dr. Anthony Fauci’s genius shutdown.
They would most certainly point out that the highest inflation rate in recent history was hitting minorities hardest. Staples such as beef, bacon and milk are affected, despite the Democrats claiming otherwise. One would suggest listening to the Republican plan: Quit printing money!
Jackson, would surely remind us that there would be no supply chain issues if we would let more truck drivers do what they do, drive trucks. And “build American, buy American,” a concept attacked during the last administration, seems now to be a fairly good idea. And Dan can attest, he can’t hire people if the government is going to pay them more to stay at home than he can afford to pay them.
Well, my heart sank. I felt like the kid in “Christmas Story” when the Red Rider wasn’t under the Christmas tree.
There was no mention of the Congressional Budget Office warning us that Build Back Better was going to add to the deficit and increase inflation exponentially, costing $3 trillion more than advertised; $5 trillion total. Nothing about the military buildup on the Ukrainian border, nor China’s expansion toward Taiwan. Zilch.
And zilch again, on Hunter’s laptop and dealings with China businesses and his money-laundering through sale of his “priceless” cocaine canvasses. (The man has no shame.) No update on evacuation of Americans abandoned in Afghanistan, nor the rising number of minority homes with absentee fathers, or some suggestions for Harris to find those elusive “root causes.”
No, not a single bit of in-depth analysis on any of these key issues, that would’ve caused an outrage by these two only last year. Not even a cry of disappointment in the fact that not one thing has been made better since Biden’s term begin.
Instead, Jackson whined and grumbled at not getting to play games with the other reindeer. And yet, as he laments, he returns, perhaps unconsciously, to his routine of berating folks in our community.
He has drawn a mental conclusion as to what we really are as he sees us. He has defined our faults and failures from his lofty perch of condescension — sad, really.
Kendall, an enigma wrapped in a riddle, has never grasped the concept that if one American can do it, we all can do it. Instead, he seeks to teach his students they are oppressed, that other minority members were successful only because they “sold out” to The Man.
Rather, we got two columns of sports analysis, probably better left to Tommy Priddy on Page 5. What a waste of otherwise brilliant minds.
TONY N. BOYD lives at 65 W. College St. in Henry. His email address is firstname.lastname@example.org.