So what is up with this Coronavirus? It’s out of control, y’all!

Last week, there were six people dead; Monday morning this week, 80. Not good.

And most importantly, how did it get its name?

Corona means a lot of things to a lot of people. For instance, cerveza (Spanish for beer). Also, part of the sun. And also in architecture and anatomy.

Turns out it’s not really Coronavirus proper, but coronavirus common. Evidently, and unknown to me previously, SARS from back about 10 years ago was a “coronavirus.” They simply later came up with an appropriate scary name for it.

With it jumping from six to 80 deaths in one week, I get the idea they need to come up with a really scary name for it fast.

Oh and a side note: A coronavirus is typically a mild respiratory infection in mammals and birds, except sometimes and rarely — it goes lethal!

And since we’re going down the rabbit hole, when they look at the isolated virus under an electron microscope, it has a crown-like shape, resembling that of a solar corona.

Corona is Latin for crown. So again, a lot of meanings.

Of course, the only meaning we’re concerned with is the death machine it’s fast becoming.

They say we’re safe from it here in the United States, that we’ve contained it.

Um, whatever. We thought that about Donald Trump, and the next thing you know he goes from grabbing women by the (edit) to loving up to your local Baptist preacher.

So I’m not believing anything “they” say.

I personally believe this new coronavirus was created by Rudy Giuliani. He and Mike Pompeo were out in Wuhan, China, one night and ran into a couple of chicks.

While implementing the strategy of their white Christian president, one thing led to another and, next thing you know, dying birds are transmitting it to humans.

Here’s another aside: Anyone ever see the Michael Caine movie, “Alfie”? His name for girls were birds. Is that sexist?

If not, can we bring that back? It sounds more elegant than chicks. Also, it should be required in conjunction with a British accent.

Anyway, Rudy started this virus to take away attention from the impeachment trial. I’m not really sure why, because the only people I know who actually care about the impeachment trial are Republinuts.

But I suppose that makes sense, since late-term Trump supporters (or 70% of Tennesseans) are easily manipulated, and we don’t want them to abort their belief in the Big Orange Baby.

“Hey, Trump supporter, there’s a squirrel!” And they’re off.

So how about the Rudy virus or better, Rudy-Rhino Virus? Huh? That’s got charisma.

Look, I know you think I’m making light of this very serious sickness, but I’m truly not. I’ve just adjusted to Trump society where the weak die and the strong survive.

Republicans like to kill people after they’ve been born. Admit it. You’re OK with it. That’s the first step.

They’ve killed 24 at the border since Trump took over. They love to kill prisoners. They love death row.

They assassinate (sorry, Trumpsters, that another word for kill) generals of sovereign states, in other sovereign states. They love to kill.

Republicans also love to kill people’s hopes and dreams.

Instead of using words of peace and love from folks like Jesus Christ, the Dalai Lama, Buddha or someone they may not have heard about, they jump on back to the Old Testament, where it’s OK for God, and therefore it’s OK for the U.S. military to bomb anyone we want.

We’re the richest country in the world, but our Republican leaders use a thug mentality.

So while the rest of the world worries about the plight of people, of children, of poverty, of hunger — we don’t have to. As long as our gas is cheap and our economy is strong, they can all burn.

America first, y’all!


DAN JACKSON is a self-employed Paris businessman. His email address is

Load comments